I missed days of this challenge and then once that happens, the real challenge is coming back to writing. I think psychologists call this All or Nothing Thinking. Instead of congratulating yourself on each day that you are able to meet a goal, people with this all or nothing thought disorder tend to see things in more black and white terms. The most interesting thing about me and this disorder is that I absolutely do not see other people in this kind of light. I am way harder on myself than I would ever be on anyone else.
I think this is worth thinking about for a few moments. When other people fail to accomplish something, I am able to think about the larger context around that failure. I am able to see them as people with obstacles who are absolutely trying their best to accomplish what needs to get done. When their humanity is visible, I embrace it with an attitude of people can only get done as much as they can get done. I mostly view other people as doing the best they can at all times.
For me however, it is as if I know better. I always think that I could have done better. I am also always sure that other people believe that about me too. I think because I am so hard on myself, I assume other people are hard on me too.
However, why not assume that other people are as understanding of me as I am of them? That would be a real flip the switch kind of thought. Radical for me.
Perhaps I worry that if I start to be kinder and more understanding of myself, I will stop being an accomplished person in the world who contributes to the growth and happiness of others. Interesting to think about self-kindness as the key to my effectiveness instead of its demise.
And so, I wrote today in this challenge. What an accomplishment.