The first time I traveled on a plane. It was to Disneyworld when I was a senior in high school and I had a broken hand and a boyfriend who went to a different high school.
The first time I helped shop for a fancy dress for a party. It was for my sophomore cotillion and I picked the dress as soon as I walked in the store but then made my mom sit through many more dress tries on and got more and more miserable until my mom said, “Let’s just get this one- remember? You loved it.”
The first time (and only time) I got in a physical fight with someone. My neighbour called my friend an ugly name and I told him what I thought and he said, “Oh yeah? Wanna fight?” Then we were rolling on the grass and he had landed some punches and I had landed some punches and we both left with a bloody nose.
The first time I saw my sons. They were taken from behind the C-section gown and I just cried. I kept asking, “Are they okay? Are they okay? Are they okay?”
The first time I kissed the guy who became my husband. We were looking at my Christmas tree and I kissed him next to it. It felt really good and also bad because he used to smoke.
The last time I joked with my mom. I had given her a step counter for Christmas and she was wearing it and walking around and her steps would not register. I think I even said it was like she was a ghost because the machine could not feel her steps.
The last time I slept in my childhood home. It was the night before I left for the Peace Corps and my parents were getting ready to sell the house to move to Florida. I only slept for an hour because I was more scared than I had ever been in my life.
The last time I played field hockey. It was a playoff game and we were losing by one goal and I dove to try to tip a shot into the goal. I tore a muscle in my shoulder and we lost. I was in pain.
The last time I saw my best friend Lynn. We were sharing a beer and she was gushing about how in love she was with her pilot fiancé.
Someday. I will have two grown boys and I will have a house that feels empty of their energy.
Someday. I hope to travel to Greece. I know that it will sing to my heart because the sun. Oh, the sun.
Someday. I hope to see my brother again. I hope that all can be forgiven and we can make up for lost time.
Never. I hope never to miss the chance to tell the people I love how much I love them.
Never. I hope never stop learning and growing.
Right now. I just realised that last times are often not known until later and first times are almost always known in the moment.