Lest you begin to think that my life is filled with deep thoughts and epiphanies, I present a piece on poop. (Imagine my small laugh here)
Okay, so first, I love New York! From the very first second that I stepped out of Port Authority and almost became part of a taxi bumper, I have been in love with New York. But, my love has faded a little this winter.
I wouldn’t say I have fallen out of love. I am sure the newly mowed ball fields on the Great Lawn and the feeling of sun on my face as I cross to the side with shorter buildings will rekindle my affection. My love has just gone cold a little bit this winter and not because of the polar vortex.
It is because of the dog poop.
There is poop everywhere. People take their sweet pets out for walks to relieve themselves and they just leave the poop behind. 😉 People want pets for love and company. They don’t want the pets to poop in their apartments so they let the pets poop on the shared space of the sidewalk. I don’t get this. I have kids and I don’t want them to poop in my house but I do not let them do their business in public.
The snow is gross. Every pile has a pile on it. Every mound has a mound. I am used to the snow going dark but not with poop. A walk with my sons is like walking an obstacle course. Watch. Watch. Watch. I am never able to look up because of what has gone down on the sidewalk. I am tired of using a toothpick to scrape poop out of the mega-traction snow boots my boys wear to make it through this winter. It is like chasing stink through a maze.
Why aren’t there tickets for poop? This city has a plan to stop double parking. First give warning flyers, and then give 150$ tickets. Nice. I say do the same for the people who don’t pick up. Flyers, then fines.
Or, we could just invent a machine that would instantly separate you from your dog for a set period of time as punishment for triggering my gag reflex with your laziness and irresponsibility.
Sorry if I seem pretty upset. I am.
I love you New York butt … 😉
PICK UP YOUR POOP!